Starring Andy Griffith...
With Ronnie Howard.
Also starring Don knotts.
You don't have to go back to work today, do you, paw?
No, I expect Barney can handle it.
Oh, boy.
Just you and me having a day off.
Yeah, well, I worked hard all week
so I figure I earned it.
And I worked hard in school
so I earned it, too.
That's right.
Well, 'morning.
Hi.
How they biting? Terrible.
Couldn't catch a thing all morning.
Tried everything.
Even tried a little magic fish talk.
Magic fish talk?
How do you do that?
Well, it's not really a talk.
It's more of a gurgle.
Can he really talk to fish, paw?
Well, if the man says he's done it
I expect he can.
Can't say as how I can, though.
I never run into a fish I cared to converse with.
First time through mayberry?
Yup.
Well, I'm the sheriff here.
Later on, if you're of a mind to, stop uptown and look around.
Might just do that... Thanks, sheriff.
Going to try the other side of the lake now.
Okay, we'll see you.
Good luck.
Well, I guess the fish just wasn't hungry today.
Maybe they ate our sandwiches.
Yeah, probably left them at home...
Put the stuff in back and get rid of the bait now.
Ahh...
Yep, yep, yep.
Get on in there. Go on.
Come on.
Stay right there.
Stand right there.
Second thought
come over here in the middle of the room.
Come on. Come in, come in!
What's the trouble, Barney?
No trouble.
Just booking this man on a "vag" charge.
"Vag"?
Vagrant.
Oh.
Caught him down at the freight yard,
you know, hanging around down there.
Looks like he was going to hook a ride,
maybe slip out of town, you know,
kind of... so I nabbed him, brought him in here.
All right, you there... next!
Come on, step up here to the desk.
Well, move!
Now, this here's the high sheriff.
Now, you state your name.
David browne, with an "e".
How you doing, sheriff? How's the fishin'?
Oh, just fair, caught a couple of little ones.
How about you?
Didn't do that good.
Water's a little muddy, I guess.
I got rid of the bait, paw.
Hi. Did your magic fish talk
work on the other side of the lake?
What is this?
Oh, we run into Mr. Browne
when we was fishing this morning.
What, uh... what brings you to our part of the country?
Oh, a vacation.
Fishing, stuff like that.
Getting away from business worries.
Business?
He ain't got a cent on him.
I seldom carry more than $50
in cash.
As a matter of fact
I find it's better not to carry any money at all,
and I'll show you why.
May I have a coin?
Um, sure.
You see, when I have money
I find that it always, uh...
Disappears.
Then I need money...
I find there's always some around somewhere.
So why carry any?
Is there any more in there?
Oh, yeah, lots more, but why take it out?
It would only, um...
Disappear again.
Just a little trick.
Gosh!
Pretty good, too... huh, Barn?
Can you do it, Barney?
Well, of course, I can do it, any old time.
Let's book him, sheriff.
What's wrong, paw?
Oh, no, nothing. Nothing wrong.
No. Mr. Browne just wanted to find out
if the sheriffin' department's on its toes
and I told him we are... night and day.
And that we can assure him
that he won't have any trouble in mayberry.
That is the understanding, ain't it?
Couldn't have stated it better.
May I say that your confidence is well-placed.
I, too, am a disciple of law and order.
Good day, gentlemen.
Oh, uh, Mr. Browne.
I'd say one disappearance trick's plenty.
Oh.
Certainly.
Yeah.
Andy, you let him slip right through your fingers.
Uh, Opie, why don't you...
Why don't you go and try your luck
on the gumball machine down the street?
They're bad for my teeth.
Well, one won't hurt you.
I'd rather listen anyhow.
You rest your ears and work your jaw.
Go on.
Okay, paw.
Now, chew it, don't swallow it.
Okay.
Ain't no use to run him down in front of the boy.
Anyhow, the man's just passing through
and we don't aim to pester folks
that may be a little bit down on their luck.
But, Andy, he's no ordinary hobo, he's too slick!
He might even be a member of some mob!
You know, they never did clean up all that Capone gang...
He might be Mr. Big, himself!
What would Mr. Big be doing in mayberry?
Well, plenty! Hideout!
Maybe he got shot up and he come here to recover!
Well, it happens all the time!
Suit yourself, Barney, but I think you're in for
a big disappointment... He sure looks harmless to me!
Yeah, well, just the same
I'm going to keep these baby blues wide open...
Very wide open.
These look very nice.
Then again, these have prizes.
Why don't you have both?
But I only got one penny.
You don't need any money
as long as you have the magic touch
and know the magic word.
Is it like fish talk?
No, no.
This is gumball talk.
You see, I put one hand
under here.
Watch that hand.
And with the other hand
I reach back here
and say the magic word...
Tuscarora.
There you are.
Say, that's pretty nifty.
How's it work?
Say the magic word, give the magic touch
and the machine gives me the gumball.
But ain't that cheating?
Cheating?
Oh, my no, no, no.
Why this little machine doesn't want your money.
What would a gumball machine use money for?
Does it have to buy food?
Does it have to buy clothes?
Or, uh, roller skates?
Or go to the movies?
No, no, it doesn't want your money at all.
It don't even have to buy gum.
Right.
So, whether you put in a penny
or just give it a pat with the hand
it's just as happy either way.
Have another?
Tuscarora.
Another?
Tuscarora.
I don't like to do this
but the law is the law.
Barney, what...
Will you quit arresting him?
But, Andy, I got him
on an out-and-out six-three... loitering.
I don't mean to break the law
but seems I got no choice.
If I move, I'm a vagrant.
If I stand still, I'm loitering.
But, Andy, he's got no visible means of support.
Well, maybe we can find a remedy for that.
Let's see, I believe I do know one job that's open.
Aunt bee's been after me for the longest kind of time
to do a little hedge-trimming.
Hedge
that's right... If a fella's a hedge-trimmer,
why, he's not a vagrant.
And if he's trimming, he's not loitering.
I reckon I can handle that.
Good, good, go on out to the car
and I'll drive you over to the house.
Finish this, will you, Barney?
Boy, if that ain't something.
Inviting him right to your house.
Next thing you know, you'll have a welcome wagon
down at the freight yards.
Oh, Barney.
First, we must determine
precisely what type of atmosphere
we desire to create.
The stately, dignified solid feeling
of the hedges around Buckingham Palace
or the shapely free form
that surrounds the fountains of Rome?
Paw usually just lops off the tops.
Perhaps, an oriental motif is indicated.
Where you take the shrubbery
and carefully mold it into living sculpture
by disciplining the old
and interweaving the new.
Paw usually just...
...lops off the tops.
Don't they work?
Oh, yes.
But there's a great deal of discussion
that enters into this.
Never start a job without thoroughly talking it out.
Never stint on the discussion stage.
That's what separates man from the apes.
I favor Buckingham Palace.
What do you think?
Okay by me.
Buckingham Palace it is.
We'll start first thing tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
Yes, I'll be fresher then.
It's the most perfect day
to start any job... tomorrow.
The most marvelous day that was ever invented.
Whey, there is absolutely nothing a man can't do...
Tomorrow.
Right? Right.
Well, if I don't have to work,I'll take you.
Opie, what's got into you this morning?
Your room is a mess.
Your clothes are all over the place,
coloring books, toys in the middle of the floor.
You know you're supposed to clean your room.
Couldn't I do it tomorrow?
Tomorrow?
Young man, you hop up from there right now
and do like aunt bee says.
Can't we discuss it first?
How's that?
Talk it over.
That's what separates us from the apes.
Would you mind running over that again right slow?
Couldn't I do it tomorrow?
It's the perfect time to start any job... tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Your tomorrow's really going to smart
if you don't pick up that room
and do it now so you won't be late for school.
Okay, paw.
Go on.
Where does he get such ideas?
I don't know.
Gonna cut it today, Mr. Dave?
Yup, I suppose so.
Hey.
Which way is that lake from here?
The lake? That way, about a mile.
I thought so.
I just heard a fish jump.
You must have awful good ears.
Well, you got to listen in a very special way.
Oop! There he goes again.
You hear him?
I'm not exactly sure.
Oh, he's a big fellow.
About 13 inches, one blue eye
part of his tail fin missing.
Can you tell all that?
Well, I'm part Indian, you know.
You are?
Oh, yeah.
He's just lying down there
waiting for a smart fellow to lower a rope to him.
I got to go to school.
I bet I could catch him with my golly-wobbler.
What's that?
Why, I thought everybody knew what a golly-wobbler was.
It's a little invention of mine.
Fish just flock around it.
Now, fish were made to be caught and eaten.
It's almost the duty of mankind to do that.
And I'm going to do my duty.
See you, ope.
Aunt bee, I believe that's as good a lunch as I ever had!
Well, then, another little piece of pie.
Oh, what are you trying to do, fatten me up?
Oh, come on, now...
No, now I got to go to work, aunt bee!
A bit more. Hi, anybody home?
Hi, Barn, I'm leaving in a second.
Well, I'm here on official business, I got me a prisoner.
Prisoner?
Uh-huh, I nabbed him coming in the back door of the jailhouse
after a fish pole.
A fish pole?
I guess the proper charge
would be just plain, everyday hookey.
Opie.
Opie, you never did that before.
No, paw.
Now, you satisfied?
Your pal's beginning to affect your own boy.
Opie, what made you do a thing like that?
Why even ask him? You know. I know.
Barney...
It's plain for everybody to see.
The boy never played hookey before.
Now, all of a sudden he does, no mystery to me.
Barney, wait!
Opie, I want you to tell me
who's been teaching you how to play hookey.
Opie.
Yeah? You're sure, now?
Well, don't you touch a thing.
I'll send one of our men over there right away.
Oh, Andy, everything's breaking loose.
First Mrs. Tillman had an apple pie stolen from her window.
Now Jess Crawford just reported a chicken thief.
It's a regular reign of terror!
And what's more, I got a pretty fair idea
just who's behind it.
Your friend Pete the tramp.
Where's my gun?
Hi, paw.
Oh, hi, ope.
You're just in time to join me and Barney for lunch.
Aunt bee made us some extra special Bologna sandwiches.
I already had lunch, paw.
You did?
With Mr. Dave.
What did you have?
Roast chicken.
You set up the roadblock!
I'll get the car.
Wait a minute.
Sounds like quite a feed.
For dessert, we had apple pie.
Andy, you heard?
Uh, where did Mr. Dave get the chicken and the pie?
From the same magic he uses all the time.
Tomorrow, he says, he's gonna have beef steak.
Beef steak?
Oh, my gosh, there goes a whole cow.
You know, paw
hoboin' sure seems like a lot more fun than sheriffin'.
They sure do seem to eat better.
I guess that's because they're so smart.
Mr. Dave invented
the golly-wobble super fish-catcher.
He gave me this one to keep.
Uh, ope, you'd better run on back to school.
Okay, paw.
There. Now you satisfied?
A fiend's on the loose.
Citizens livin' in terror.
We got to go down to his shack
and smoke him out, use tear gas.
Yeah, I believe I'll go down and pay him a visit.
We'll move in from the high ground
and surround him.
Throw a cordon around his hideout.
Let me see if I got my bullet.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, let's go.
You stay here.
I'm goin' alone.
Uh...
Well, sheriff, it's an honor.
Where's Opie?
He's in school.
Drag up somethin' and sit down.
Makin' a new fish lure.
I gave the other one
I had to Opie.
Yeah, he showed it to me...
When he told me about the chicken dinner.
Oh, that. Yeah.
Too bad about that poor bird.
Run down in the middle of the road by a new sports car.
I tried to get the license number
but you understand... All that dust and everything.
What run over the pie?
The pie was, uh...
Uh, the pie, uh...
Well, that's not why I'm here.
Good.
It's about Opie.
Somethin' wrong?
Yeah, there's somethin' wrong.
He ate too much?
No. It goes a little deeper than that.
Well, uh, what is it?
I've grown awful fond of that young fella.
What's wrong?
There seems to be something wrong
with his thinkin'.
He's gotten a little twisted
on things lately.
Like bein' able to tell the difference
'tween right and wrong.
Not that that's an easy thing.
A lot of grownups still strugglin'
with that same problem
but it's especially difficult for a youngster
'cause things rub off on 'em so easy.
I see.
You're suggestin' that maybe I'm not fit company for Opie?
That would seem to be the case.
Well, sheriff, maybe I do look at things
differently than other people.
Is that wrong?
I live by my wits.
I'm not above bending the law now and then
to keep clothes on my back or food in my stomach.
I live the kind of life
that other people would just love to live
if they only had the courage.
Who's to say that the boy would be happier your way or mine?
Why not let him decide?
Nah, I'm afraid it don't work that way.
You can't let a young 'un decide for himself.
He'll grab at the first flashy thing with shiny ribbons on it.
Then when he finds out there's a hook in it, it's too late.
Wrong ideas come packaged with so much glitter
it's hard to convince him that other things
might be better in the long run.
All a parent can do
is say, "wait. Trust me," and try to keep temptation away.
That means that you're inviting me to leave.
That's right.
Well, you're wearin' a badge, so I'll leave.
That wasn't so difficult.
Your problem's solved.
That's where you're wrong.
That boy thinks
just about ever'thin' you do is perfect
so my problem's just beginnin'.
You left behind an awful lot of unscramblin' to be done.
Now, look...
Good-bye, Mr. Dave.
Come on.
No two ways about it this time, sheriff.
Caught him with the goods.
Purse snatcher.
A purse snatcher?
Whose is it?
You can just about guess, it's aunt bee's.
Got her name in it.
No tricks from you, now.
Uh, Opie, maybe you better wait outside
for a few minutes.
You mean you took aunt bee's pocketbook?
Mr. Dave
But that's where she keeps money to buy food.
How'd it happen?
I was out on patrol
and he run right in front of me
carryin' this woman's pocketbook.
I told you I was gonna keep these open, and I did.
Everything just clicked, fell right into place,
and I realized that this wasn't his.
Boy, he played it just like he wanted to get nabbed.
He did, huh?
Yeah.
All right, come on, let's go.
Come on. Come on.
Right over there.
That cell right there.
Come on, let's go.
I'm savin' the other cell for the rest of the gang.
You really stole it?
Barney, maybe you better drive him home.
Yeah.
I'll tell aunt bee about the pocketbook.
Gettin' caught like that's pretty careless
for a man that lives by his wits.
Sheriff, you've got your evidence,
you've got your man... What more do you want?
Well, there may be one other thing
that might be worth mentioning.
I happen to know that this is a pocketbook
that my aunt bee threw out in the trash.
Well, that'll be the 3:45 stoppin' for water.
No law I know of against trash collectin'.
Mr. Dave, I'd say you got a train to catch.
Suit yourself.
Oh, I... I, uh...
Sure do appreciate...
Sheriff, like you say, I got a train to catch.
You don't want your deputy
to pick me up for loiterin', do you?
Yeah.
Hi, Barn!
Huh, see old Dave browne got to you with the magic, too?
You're trying it now, eh?
Yeah, well, you don't learn this stuff overnight, you know.
I mean, this takes sometimes years of practice
to get your hands to manipulate just right.
It does? Yeah... listen to this...
"Nimbleness, agility and dexterity"
are the key words to hand magic.
And these can be yours
if you are willing to devote
"the Patience and constant practice necessary."
Watch this.
Okay, see, nothing up the sleeves.
All right, watch you watching?
Yeah, I'm watching.
Okay, here she goes, disappear!
It takes a while.
Yeah, that was good, though, if you hadn't had dropped it.
Paw, want to see something?
Something I learned from Mr. Browne!
Watch this, Barney!
Hey, that's good!
Yeah, well, I got to be going out on patrol.
Barney, you do that trick, don't you?
Yeah, but I got to get going now...
Well, let's see you do it. No, not now.
Oh, come on
because I don't have time
to stand around and play little kid games,
that's why not!